I’ve been considering how healthy men’s communities form, grow, and develop. They’re kind of like living, breathing organisms. They can be organic, grassroots, fluctuating, ever-moving, and ever-changing.
So what are the keys to a successful men’s community?
For me, it’s easy to summarize: “the right guys in the right place at the right time.”
But I have observed several foundational elements that are necessary for a men’s community to grow and thrive.
Availability
The most basic component of a thriving men’s community is availability.
By this, I mean the availability of the leadership first and the availability of the men participating. Without availability, everything else crumbles.
Unavailable leaders are going to be distant and disconnected. Men are going to struggle to find connection points, especially when they’re going through hard times. I’ve seen enough examples of this through many conversations with men. Availability is key. If your leaders aren’t available, there’s not much else to talk about here.
Leadership
The second component is leadership.
One thing I’ve always said is that we need the right men in the right place at the right time. Here, I’m going to focus on the right men.
For leadership, we need men who are available, motivated, men of solid character, and who desire and want to invest in the men coming into the group. These are the kind of guys who will show up even if nobody else does. They have a passion for getting to know other guys and seeing men grow.
This doesn’t mean they have to be completely extroverted. In fact, I think there are many qualities of strong leaders who are not naturally extroverts. But it does mean they have to care. They have to care about the quality of the gathering they want to lead, and they have to deeply care about the men coming in and out.
Consistency and Feasibility
The next two components of a growing men’s community relate to the events and activities that are available. For these, consistency and feasibility are significant factors.
I’ve told guys, if you want to see your group grow, give it at least a year, but be consistent about it. If you meet once a month, make sure you meet once a month. If you commit to once a week, then do it once a week. It’s going to take repetition and time for consistency to begin yielding consistent turnout.
Feasibility is simply asking, “Is it something you can do? Does it work?” Is there a space for the men to gather? Are there any barriers to participation? Is there anything that’s going to detract from the group? Does the time work for the leader as well as the men involved? These are all factors to consider in whether a gathering for a growing men’s community is feasible.
Proximity
The next area I want to highlight is proximity.
Geographical proximity matters. Where a guy lives impacts where he goes. Is he really going to want to go home and drive another 45 minutes to get to a men’s event? Probably not.
Guys are busy. Finding locations in proximity to the areas where you want to reach men is significant. It takes time to develop and target specific geographical regions that are going to work for men in proximity. It’s going to be best if the event is within 15 minutes of where they live.
Visibility
The next significant factor is visibility.
Are your events visible? Do the men actually know what’s happening and what’s going on? Sometimes, as guys, we’ve got to see these things over and over again. But is there a place to actually see them? A website, a newsletter, a form, a link, a text—somewhere the events or activities become visible to them? Guys need to know where they’re going and what’s happening.
Take a picture. Share it on social media. There’s something about seeing guys gathering together that inspires men to want to join.
Communication
The next component is communication.
One thing I’ve noticed among men’s communities, whether within the church or in other groups, is that the groups doing it best are the ones who communicate.
If there’s a centralized method of communication where everyone can stay connected and know what’s happening, growth and connection opportunities can happen. And this also ties back into visibility.
There are several platforms a group can use to communicate effectively in a way that doesn’t inundate men but allows them to be part of the conversation when they want to be.
Communication is key.
Quality
Quality matters.
If guys are going to come and invest their time, they certainly want to get something out of it. What’s the quality of the gathering going to look like? It should be of enough substance to be meaningful. Whether that’s a fun and enjoyable activity or a growth-focused conversation, that’s up to the leadership. But whatever it is, make it meaningful.
Investment
The next component is investment.
I’ve spoken into this a little bit with leadership, but investment here works both ways. Investment from the leadership toward the men coming in: connecting before the event, following up after the event, reaching out, asking if they want to get coffee. It takes time, energy, and effort to invest in the men who are showing up.
Outreach
The last component I have observed is outreach.
A growing men’s community needs outreach. You’ve got to be reaching more guys—texting, word of mouth, whatever it is. If you want to see growth, there needs to be some outreach happening.
Moving Forward
Although unmentioned, intentionality is assumed in each one of these elements; this is critical. Together, these contribute to seeing a men’s community grow and become available, accessible, and meaningful.